


Sleep in heavenly peace

by hidingupatreeorsomething



Series: On the Shore of the Wide World Series [3]
Category: Homeland
Genre: Advent Calendar 2017, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2019-02-14 17:49:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13012986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hidingupatreeorsomething/pseuds/hidingupatreeorsomething
Summary: Quinn and Julia's 'first' date - and what happens next...This is set in the'Shore' AUand picks up just as Quinn and Julia set off on their first date, right at the end ofChapter 19 of On the Shore of the Wide World... and then watches their relationship develop for the next couple of months.Posted for the Advent Calendar on 14 December 2017.(And I've now bumped up my advent calendar contributions to three, so there'll be another from me on 27 December!)





	Sleep in heavenly peace

**Author's Note:**

> If you’ve not read the rest of [ the fic leading up to this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11570763) (Puts on Mandy Patinkin voice):  
>  **Previously, on On The Shore of the Wide World...**  
>  Quinn survived the 6.12 shooting, Dar got him out of the CIA in secret and he’s now living next door to Julia and Johnny in Philadelphia. There were bumps in the road, but it’s gone OK, he’s a good dad, and he and Julia have just started, tentatively, to become a little more than just good friends...

They hold hands in the taxi, hearts beating fast just from the intimate contact of their palms, fingers, entwined, stroking, feeling one another so close. They make their way through the whole meal grinning and flirting like a pair of teenagers – a sense only heightened when they arrive home and he kisses her goodnight on the doorstep, both of them trying to keep quiet but tipsy and horny as hell.

He wonders if he should invite her next door to his place, but Julia has to be home to relieve Carmen of her babysitting duties, and he has no idea what would be appropriate. Julia doesn’t want to push him to do anything he’s not ready for, so she doesn’t invite him in - they kiss, hold one another, gaze at one another, kiss again, and say goodnight. Then text drunkenly until they fall asleep. 

He staggers back across the following morning to take Johnny to school, the pair of them as hungover as hell, but just about managing to hold it together for appearances’ sake. After dropping Johnny off he goes straight home to bed with a big glass of water and back to sleep. So it’s not until he wakes again in the afternoon with a clear head, that he feels the joy tingling inside him at the memory of the night before.

And so they continue to date. They always walk a few blocks from the restaurant or bar before hailing a cab, make the most of the walk, holding hands, stopping to kiss, sometimes ducking into alleyways to reach under each others’ clothes in the dark, enjoying the sense of illicit enjoyment, the racing pulses and the sense of abandon. A world away from parenthood, hospital, work, school. And a sense that there is no hurry at all. No need to seal the deal by pushing ahead before the other loses interest. They are already committed, they can take things at whatever pace they choose. 

And they choose to take it slowly. Spin out these early days of courting each other all over again. It relaxes them both. Julia figures Quinn needs time to process what’s happening, and Quinn wants to be 100% sure he’s not about to hurt Julia, to push her into something that he can’t handle, might back out of. They feel their way slowly, gently, lovingly towards each other. 

\----

She asks if he’d like to come over to hers one evening. Johnny’s heading across the street for a sleepover. Quinn pauses before replying – she’s asked him by text, figures he might need a little thinking time – it’s the obvious next step, but he’s still unsure. Doesn’t want to fuck it up. But he wants so badly to hold her, to touch her and feel her next to him again, to make love and to lie together through the night. He accepts.

\----

Turns up at the door bang on time with flowers, looking smart, looking happy.

The dinner goes cold – he’s barely over the threshold before they start to kiss, it takes 30 seconds before they pull one anothers’ shirts from their waistbands, reach underneath, just moments more before she leads him up the stairs to bed.

It’s… a whole new thing. He can’t do so much of what he used to. Something that used to be an expression of strength and virility now means working around weakness, paralysis, clumsiness. He teeters a few times through frustration and shame towards anger, almost tearful, but she pulls him back from the brink, helps him find his strength, helps him expose his tenderness. They explore together, and by the end it feels so different from before, but… right. After all their teenage courting, it seems so perfect that they have to work this out together, as if they’re doing it for the first time.

They lie together afterwards, not talking, stroking one another gently. Eventually hunger takes them downstairs and they eat the cold lasagna straight from the dish, both wrapped in bedsheets, in the living room, drink wine, then curl up in each others’ arms again. Eventually go back upstairs and explore all over again.

\----

He lies on his left side, stroking her cheek with his right hand. Thinks how much it means to discover he can do this, despite how difficult it’s been - not to just sit through sordid, mechanical encounters with Justine and Clarice, but make love, fully, lovingly, connect with someone he knows and trusts, expose himself, push himself over the cliff and find out there’s somebody there to catch him. To feel safe. To discover together, unashamed – eventually - how to wrap his new body around the movements that will lead them both to one another.

She thinks of just how fucking much she loves him, how incredibly grateful she is that she might, belatedly, have a shot at the family she thought a decade ago she would have. Grateful that his heart has broken open in the way it has, wide enough to let her in. But can’t think of a way to say it, that doesn’t make her sound glad that he’s been through all the awful shit that’s got him here. 

Eventually he murmurs: “It’s great, huh? All of it.”

For someone with speech trouble, he so often gets it so right, she thinks.

“Really great.”

She pulls herself towards him, they wrap arms around one another, press their bodies together, breathe together, and lie there. She drifts off into blissful, safe sleep.

\----

_She wakes feeling a little chilled, realises she can’t feel him against her. Opens her eyes, looks round._

_He’s sitting up in bed, awake._

_She reaches out to him._

JULIA - You OK?

_He nods. Looks a little afraid. Trying to cover it up, but as he smiles his mouth is just a little too taut, his shoulders tense. She sits up._

What’s up? Can’t you sleep?

_He looks down, away from her for a moment, like a child caught in a lie._

Johnny? What is it? Do you feel ill?

_He shakes his head, trying to work out what to say._

_Still can’t look at her._

QUINN - I… I… don’t think I can sleep here.

_She’s surprised, but doesn’t want to hurt him._

JULIA - You can’t? 

QUINN - I’m sorry, I just…

 _He shrugs, shakes his head a little, still can’t look at her._

JULIA - Is something wrong?

_He slides out of bed. Leans over and kisses her, stands up, quietly picks up his clothes from the floor._

QUINN - Not you. I just… I’m sorry.

_He takes his clothes out with him. She hears him go to the bathroom. A while later he comes out, walks past the door without coming back in, she hears him make his way slowly down the stairs. As he gets to the bottom, she gets up, walks out to the top of the stairs._

JULIA - Johnny, are you sure you’re OK? Did I do something wrong?

QUINN - No. No. Nothing. Just me. 

_He walks out the front door, and closes it behind him._

_She stands a moment, staring at the door, baffled and crestfallen. Returns to bed. Pulls the sheets around her. Moves across to the pillow where he was, smells him and lies in his warmth, wondering._

_15 minutes later, as she lies awake, her phone vibrates.  
_

_Text message._

I have dreams

_She stares at it, not sure what to do. Another one arrives_

Bad i can’t do it yet

_She waits._

sorry. So sorry tonight was so so good but when I dream

_She stares at it a while longer. And longer._

_It rings. She picks up._

JULIA - Hey.

QUINN - I couldn’t type it. Too tired.

JULIA - That’s OK. It’s your bad dreams?

QUINN - I wanna be there. With you. Jule. So much. But my dreams… _(he’s barely audible now)_ \- make me scream. Like a b-baby. Like you never h-h-heard before, so bad. 

JULIA - Oh, Johnny. I didn’t even think. I wish I could hold you when that happened.

QUINN - I don’t know. I’m scared to be with someone.

JULIA - Do you get them every night? 

QUINN - Get _some_ dreams every night. Some nights I just wake up, scared, but quiet. Some times though I don’t wake up quick enough and then it’s all started and I can feel everything like it was when it happened, with all the pain and no breathing and then I scream and can’t stop it. That’s bad. Worst.

_He goes quiet and she thinks he might be crying._

JULIA - Fuck. Johnny. I’m so sorry. I had no idea. 

_They both sit in silence for a moment._

Is the therapy helping? At all?

QUINN - Just slowly. 

JULIA - OK. Well, hey. You have to feel safe. And you have to sleep. So you did just the right thing. Tonight was beautiful, we don’t let this ruin that, OK? We had a beautiful night, and you went home to sleep, that’s all. Will you come over in the morning?

QUINN - Yeah. I’d like to.

JULIA - Come for breakfast. Or… come early if you like, Johnny won’t be back til the middle of the morning.

QUINN - OK. OK, yeah. I will. Thank you.

Jule.

JULIA - Yeah?

QUINN - It was amazing. Tonight.

JULIA - Yeah, it was. It was wonderful. You sleep well.

QUINN - You too.

\----

_She wakes once during the night, half hoping he might be there, and rolls back to sleep, sad and empty._

_The next time she wakes, she doesn’t even reach out, doesn’t want the disappointment. But pauses, half awake, eyes closed. Something. Opens her eyes. He’s there. Curled up in bed beside her, eyes closed, fast asleep on the pillow. Her heart leaps. Looks at the clock. 6am. She reaches out under the covers. He’s warm, naked, breathing softly. Slides a hand around his waist, he stirs as she pulls herself into him, she whispers._

JULIA - Hey. It’s good to see you.

_He opens his eyes a little._

QUINN - This OK?

JULIA - Perfect. 

_He wraps his arm around her, she entwines her legs through his, and they rest in one another’s arms, half asleep, half awake. The gap, the shock of his leaving, not quite yet bridged, not quite back where they were last night - but both intensely relieved to be in each others’ arms again._

\----

_It’s a while before they can talk about it. She waits for him bring it up, determined not to push him. He feels trapped in every direction: Terrified of Julia seeing his nightmares; terrified of breaking her heart by backing off; terrified of closing the door on everything they have together._

_Eventually discusses it in therapy, it’s the hardest thing he’s done in a long time, he can barely get the words out, but knows he can’t hide from this forever.  
_

_It finally comes out as they’re loading groceries into the back of the car. A stupid, awkward, inappropriate place, but he’s fresh from a therapy session, has brooded on this right round the store, Johnny’s not with them and he can’t hold it in any more. The words blurt out of him and so they talk standing by the trunk, in the middle of the parking lot.  
_

QUINN - Ju. 

JULIA - Yeah?

QUINN - You know… what happened?

_She looks right at him. Takes a moment. Sees from his extreme awkwardness exactly what he’s talking about._

JULIA - Yeah.

QUINN - I’m sorry.

_Her head tilts, her eyes widen._

JULIA - You’re _sorry_? Why?

QUINN - I’m… I… 

_Shakes his head._

QUINN - Things are difficult.

_She takes his hand._

JULIA - I know they are. And it’s OK.

QUINN - We should try. All night. Sometime.

JULIA - You don’t have to. I don’t want you to do something that makes you uncomfortable, just to try and please me. I’m not going anywhere, Johnny.

_He shakes his head just a little, looking right at her so intensely, sudddenly he’s close to tears._

QUINN - But I _want_ to Julia. I _really_ want to. I love you.

_Now it’s her turn to be near tears.  
_

JULIA - I love you, too.

_She places a hand on his waist, they pull in together, and hold one another. Rest in the sense of relief._

_Eventually they step back a touch, lean on the fender._

JULIA - So this is a romantic place to tell me that you love me.

_They laugh a little._

QUINN - Yeah. Guess I'm not... great at this.

JULIA - You are. You're doing just fine, I promise.

QUINN - But what… what about Johnny? We gotta tell him before, right? What do we say? “Johnny, your dad’s staying the night and he might scream the house down”? I can’t…

JULIA - Leave him to me. I’ll find a way to talk to him. See how he seems. We’ll take it from there.

_She checks the time._

JULIA - C’mon we gotta go get him from school.

_They get into the car._

_She looks at him and laughs again._

JULIA - Whatever happens, we’ll always have Walmart.

_They laugh. She kisses him. Slaps his knee._

JULIA - C’mon, let’s go get that boy.

\----

_Julia and Johnny, eating dinner._

JOHNNY - Are you and dad, like...

 _He doesn't know how to ask._

_She waits. He smiles at her hoping she'll help him out._

JOHNNY - Are you like...

JULIA - Are we together?

JOHNNY - Yeah.

JULIA - Well, I guess you have unusual parents. We were, long time ago. Then we weren't. We were just friends. But now... we're trying it out.  

JOHNNY - So are you, like, boyfriend and girlfriend, even though you're my mom and dad?

JULIA - I guess, kind of. Is that OK?

_He nods._

JOHNNY - Yeah. 

JULIA - Good. I wanted to talk to you about something, actually. To do with that. Sometime, it'd be nice if dad could stay over here. At night. He can put you to bed like usual, sleep over, we can all have breakfast together in the morning.

JOHNNY - Cool.

JULIA - But something might happen if he does and I wanted to talk to you about it. You know Dad was hurt?

JOHNNY - Yeah.

JULIA - And you remember that time when he screamed, and it was scary? Because his brain was replaying the time he got hurt. 

JOHNNY - Yeah. Flash thingy.

JULIA - Flashback, that’s it. Well, sometimes that happens to him at night. Like a bad dream. He dreams that he's back there again, and he screams.

JOHNNY - Ew.

JULIA - Yeah. So it could happen in the middle of the night, if he sleeps here. You and me might wake up and Dad would be screaming. 

JOHNNY - But would he be OK?

JULIA - He would. He'd be real scared at first, but I'd be right next to him and I'd wake him up and tell him he was safe and hug him and calm him down until he stopped screaming. He'd wake up and realise he was safe and I was there hugging him and talking to him. And then he’d be OK. So you wouldn't have to worry if you heard it, you’d know he was gonna be fine. You could stay in bed, and once daddy's better, I'd come in and talk to you, see if you’re OK, give you a hug.

But I wanted to see what you thought. Because it might be scary, especially the first few times when we're not used to it.

JOHNNY - So does he have bad dreams now, on his own? In his house?

JULIA - I guess so.

JOHNNY - Who hugs him?

_Julia feels a surge of emotion that her son's first impulse is one of such kindness._

JULIA - I guess nobody does right now. He wakes up, waits until he feels better, and then he goes back to sleep.

JOHNNY - That's horrible.

JULIA - I guess it must be kind of hard.

JOHNNY - He should always sleep here so we can hug him better and tell him he's going to be all right.

_She smiles. Hugs him._

JULIA - You're a very caring boy, Johnny. I'm very proud of you. 

So shall we ask him to stay over? Whenever he’s ready?

JOHNNY - Yes!

\----

JULIA - So, I talked to Johnny.

QUINN - What'd he say?

JULIA - First question was who hugs you now if you have a bad dream at your house. Who looks after you and tells you it's OK.

QUINN - Wow.

JULIA - Yeah. He's pretty special, isn't he?

QUINN - Yeah. So... was he scared? That I might... you know… flashbacks and stuff?

JULIA - He seemed pretty unfazed. Said you should always sleep at ours so we can hug you better. I mean, that’s not to say he won’t be scared when it happens, but so far he’s cool. 

QUINN - Huh.

JULIA - So what d’you think?

_He thinks. Doesn't know what to say._

JULIA - You don't have to. Only if you'd feel comfortable. 

_He nods, doesn’t speak._

Me and Johnny are as ready as we'll ever be. And neither of us like the thought of you waking up alone over there in the middle of a bad dream. But just whenever you think you’re ready.

QUINN - OK. Thank you.

\----

_And so he tries. Johnny can’t stop giggling with excitement when Quinn puts him to bed, knowing his dad is staying over for the first time._

_Quinn barely sleeps that first night. Or the next two times he tries. The fear that he’ll lose control, terrify the people he loves the most, in the middle of the night, makes it impossible to drop his guard enough to drift off. But he doesn’t want to give up. The joy of being in bed beside her, of waking up with his family, keeps him going._

_The fourth time, he’s prepared for the same to happen – has napped in the afternoon, has a free day the next day to catch up on sleep, knowing fatigue is a risk factor for seizures. But one minute he’s lying in bed with Julia, listening to her breathing slow down as she drops off to sleep, and the next he’s waking up the next morning as Johnny jumps into bed with them. A whole night’s sleep. He’s done it. Starts to look forward to the nights he stays over, they become more frequent._

_And then, inevitably, it happens._

_She awakes instantly to the noise that fills the room, unbelievable volume, a desperate screaming, the sound of a man feeling his life being ripped from him, wrenching his guts in terror, inches from her face. She leaps to sitting, heart pounding, gasping for breath herself, in instant fear._

JULIA - Johnny.

_Slits of light, streetlamps through the curtains, illuminate the room just enough to see. She places a hand on his chest._

Johnny? Wake up.

 _He’s still screaming, thrashing, hits her in the face, she jumps over and straddles him, scoops her arms under his upper body, pulls him up towards her, speaks louder._

Johnny. It’s Julia. You’re dreaming. Wake up, Johnny.

_Clutches him to her chest, holds him there tight. She’s a strong woman._

Johnny, Johnny, Johnny.

_His head whipping around, he starts to gasp, she speaks right in his ear, places a hand firmly on the back of his head._

Johnny, it’s Julia, you’re safe. You’re having a dream. You’re home in bed with me.

_His head tipping back and forth, struggling, trying to get away from her, no idea where he is or what’s happening._

You’re at home. You’re safe. It’s OK.

_He pauses and listens for a moment, his head stills, but his whole body, neck, head are rigid, he’s gasping, short panting breaths. She eases him back a little so she can see his face. His eyes are open, wild, he’s sweating, eyes darting around the room, making small noises of animal abandon, can’t marshal himself at all._

You’re OK. You’re at home. Look at me.

_He tries, but his eyes are still darting about, trying to scope out every single shadow in the room, work out where the threat is._

_She places a hand on his cheek._

You’re safe. You’re safe, Johnny.

_She reaches over and puts the lamp on, comes back to sitting right in front of him. The light makes him wince, blink, look around again. He doesn’t want to look at Julia, can’t face human connection while he’s still so wired. Stares into space, slightly to his side, while the spinning of his brain slows. They sit there a while, she rubs his thighs gently, watches him._

_As his breath returns to normal, his shoulders sag, his head begins to droop forward, the adrenalin leaving his system._

QUINN - Oh, fuck.

_He closes his eyes, leans forward, she places a hand gently to his neck, guides his head to rest on her shoulder._

QUINN - Fuck.

_She strokes his back._

JULIA - It’s OK. It’s over. Shhhh.

_They sit. She strokes his back. His head grows heavier._

_They sit._

_Eventually, he pulls back a little, sits up. He still doesn’t look at her._

JULIA - How you doing?

OK?

_He rubs his face. Shakes his head slowly. Whispers._

QUINN - I’m sorry.

JULIA - Don’t be sorry. That’s fucking rough.

_He nods. Looks up at her, sideways. As he feared, eye contact brings tears swelling up, he lets a few sobs out, sniffs. Takes her hand and looks down at their hands._

QUINN - Thank you.

JULIA - Sure.

You usually go through that on your own?

_He nods._

JULIA - Fuck.

You’re a brave man.

QUINN - No. No choice. Not brave.

JULIA - Well, you don’t have to do it on your own. Stay here. As often as you want. Just stay, if you want. Really stay. Always. Every night. I can’t bear to think of you doing that alone.

_They sit, hand in hand, a while longer, Quinn staring down and away, suspended in post-adrenaline exhaustion. Eventually he takes his hand back and rubs the stiff muscles in his neck._

JULIA - You OK if I go see Johnny for a minute?

QUINN - _I_ should go.

JULIA - You don’t have to.

QUINN - I want to. Show him I’m OK.

JULIA - I’ll go first. You go wash your face, have a glass of water. Stretch out. Then come.

 _He nods. She stands, helps him up. He’s wobbly. She walks him to the bathroom door, then heads to Johnny’s room._

\----

_Puts her head round his door._

_He’s sitting up in bed, hugging a teddy bear._

JULIA - Hey.

JOHNNY - Is he OK?

JULIA - He is. He’s absolutely fine. How are you?

JOHNNY - _(timidly)_ OK.

JULIA - It’s kind of scary in the night, huh?

 _He nods._

He’s gonna come in and see you, he’s just getting a glass of water. 

JOHNNY - What happened? How did you stop him?

JULIA - I just talked to him, hugged him, til he woke up. Then I hugged him a bit more. Then we talked.

_She gets up next to him on the bed, wraps her arm around him._

JOHNNY - It took a long time. Before you came in. I thought you might not come.

JULIA - I wanted to make sure Dad was feeling OK again before I came to see you. Took him a while to wake up properly, feel better.

_Quinn appears in the doorway._

QUINN - Hey.

JOHNNY - You OK?

QUINN - Yeah. I’m sorry I woke you.

JOHNNY - That’s OK. Are you really OK?

_Johnny’s eyes are wide, his cheeks pink._

_Quinn sits on the bed._

QUINN - Yup. Bad, bad dream, but as soon as it went away, I was fine. Mom hugged me. Now I’m OK. How are you. Did it scare you?

JOHNNY - A little.

QUINN - I’m sorry. C’mere.

_They hug. Johnny clings on. Quinn kisses the top of his head, rests his own head on top of Johnny’s._

QUINN - If you don’t like it, I can sleep next door. It’s OK.

JOHNNY - No. I like you here.

_Quinn kisses him again._

QUINN - Thank you. Both of you.

I’m not used to people looking after me. It’s kind of nice.

JULIA - You ready to go back to sleep, bud?

_He nods._

QUINN - C’mon then.

_They tuck him back in, both kiss him goodnight. Walk back to their room. Climb quietly back into bed, put the lights out, all without talking. Heads on pillows, look each other in the eyes and he speaks softly._

JOHNNY - Thank you.

_She kisses him. He wriggles down a little, rests his head on her chest, she wraps her arms round him, strokes his back and holds him as he falls back to sleep._

\----

_Despite the kindness, despite having survived what he’d been dreading, Julia’s offer to stay forever goes unaccepted. Having the dream around other people makes him realise just what a force it is, how powerful, how fucking terrifying it is, how much it grips him, how his world ends again every single time it happens._

_He starts to feel more frightened of the dream than he has in a long time._

_He ups his therapy sessions to twice a week._

THERAPIST - Is there anything that makes you feel less afraid? That comforts you?

 _He nods._

What is it?

QUINN - Julia.

THERAPIST - Being with her?

QUINN - Being held by her.

_When he has the dream again, at his place, he can’t go back to sleep. The bed is so fucking cold._

_He wonders what the fuck he’s doing. If he’s going to go through this shit anyway, why is he doing it alone?_

_But he then remembers Johnny’s face as he entered the bedroom after the dream. A little boy bravely pretending to be less afraid than he was. The wide eyes and pink cheeks. Does not want to be the cause of that again._

\----

_Quinn and Julia curled up on the sofa, watching TV. Johnny’s in bed. Quinn’s gonna head home after this, get a good night’s sleep. He realises Julia’s looking at him._

QUINN - What?

JULIA - I have something to show you.

_He raises one eyebrow._

_She grins._

Nothing like that.

_She gets up, goes into the kitchen, comes back with a sheet of paper folded in quarters._

QUINN - What’s that?

JULIA - Johnny put it under my bedroom door last night. Must have got up to go to the bathroom. I guess he wanted to give it to me when he didn’t have to talk to me.

It’s his list. What he wants for Christmas. 

QUINN - Huh. Can I see?

_She sits down beside him. Unfolds it. Hands it to him. Top of the list is:_

**My Dad to move in with me and my mom**

_He exhales. Stares at it. Tears spring to his eyes. He looks at Julia. She smiles, gently. Takes it off him._

JULIA - That’s the only one I can’t get him in ToysRUs.

I didn’t know whether to show you.

_He puts his arm round her, holds her to him. Doesn’t reply._

\----

_Christmas Eve._

_Quinn’s at home. He shoves the last of the gifts into a bag. There are gifts from the pair of them, Quinn and Julia, already sitting under the tree next door for Johnny, but he wanted to get some things of his own too, just from him._

_Thought he’d be stuck for ideas, but once he started, couldn’t stop. The bag’s way too big, wonders if Julia will go crazy. But fuck it, he has 10 years to make up for, tomorrow will be the first Christmas he’s ever spent with his son and he’d stick a ribbon on an entire toy shop for him if he could._

_And there are things for Julia in there too. Found it remarkably easy to know what to buy her – what colours, styles, flavours and fragrances. Figures that’s a good sign. He knows her so well._

_The only thing he’d put back on the shelf as he shopped was a scarf. Soft wool, he’d picked it up, thought it was just the shade of scarlet she loved. Squeezed it in his hand… then remembered. Last year. Buying a scarf for Carrie at the tiny giftshop at the VA. When he was barely functional, damaged in every conceivable way. Convinced he had no future. Seeing her wearing his scarf on Christmas Day one of few rays of light amid months of darkness._

_Fuck. How is it possible that was only a year ago? He feels like he’s lived ten years since then. The trackless wastes of another long hospital stay after New York, followed by the most extraordinary, richest, most transformative months of his life. He’d put the red scarf back on the shelf. But wondered if Carrie was wearing her blue scarf this winter. He hoped so._

_Picks up the bag of gifts, grins to himself, leaves the house and goes next door. Knocks on the front door. Johnny opens the door, bouncing with excitement, he’s all over the bag and Quinn laughs, moves it out of his reach, tells him they’re for tomorrow, Julia appears and they go in, unpack the bag, put things under the tree, Johnny and Julia squeezing parcels as they come out, Johnny beside himself with excitement and glee. Eventually the bag is empty._

QUINN - I got you one more present.

JOHNNY - Where?

QUINN - Wait a minute.

_Quinn gets up, walks out of the room, Johnny following him, grabbing at him._

JOHNNY - Where is it? Is it for me?

QUINN - Just wait here. I’m gonna come back with it.

_He walks towards the front door._

JOHNNY - Can I come?

QUINN - Nope. Wait here.

_Johnny and Julia exchange looks, intrigued._

_Quinn goes back to his house. There’s a suitcase in the living room, a holdall next to it. He swings the holdall high, over his head onto his opposite shoulder, the bag against his back, pulls the handle out of the suitcase and rolls it after him. Out of the front door, pulls it closed behind him._

_Walks back to Johnny and Julia’s, hauls the suitcase up onto the step with him, and knocks on the door again._

_Johnny flings it open, face expectant. He looks at Quinn, at his bags, not sure what’s happening. Julia appears behind him._

QUINN - Hey. 

_Julia grins._

JULIA - Really?

JOHNNY - What is it, mom?

QUINN - Can I… come stay?

_Johnny’s jaw drops._

JOHNNY - Forever?

QUINN - If you’ll have me.

JOHNNY - YES!

_Johnny leaps up, Julia steps forward and they both fling their arms around him at once, laughing and talking and cheering as they pull him through the doorway. Smothered in love, surrounded by laughter, home at last, for Christmas._


End file.
